Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 8

     And so Christmas eve has found us once again on Day 8 of the seventh annual 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters.  A bittersweet time as we bid farewell to another year of Christmas craftsmanship and all the magic that is embodied it's festive threads.

     This ultimate sweater brings this years collection to an iconic close with a winter staple.  The snowman, formerly known as Frosty, raises his hands in desperation to the sky and you can almost here him cry, "if someone calls me Olaf one more time...!!!" Oh, Olaf, stop being so dramatic.  Made of the finest rabbit hair, this mock neck beauty is as soft as a thousand kittens.  Yarn balls fall from the sky, blanketing your waistline, helping cover the fresh layer of cheese ball, egg nog, and sugar cookies that are also now adorning your waistline.  Who knew such a cold scene could look so hot.

     And with that we draw to a close.  I must make an addendum to my Day 1 post where I reference my mother who used to wear these types of holiday gems.  I neglected to mention that she is now very fashion forward, always on trend.  In fact, the sweater she is in right now has leather elbow patches, soooo....

Tomorrow voting begins to crown this years winning sweater.


Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 7

     Day 7 is enough to make anyones heart go "parumpapumpum" in a look that says, "I just ate the poinsettia!"  This visual delight is a Christmas feast for the eyes.  Layered upon the perfect poly-cotton blend turtleneck adds ladylike modesty to counteract this racy all-over print vest, which doesn't even need buttons to keep it closed, in order to keep you from looking like what the text border implies.  A nice diversion from the tired cliche Santa outfit, is the candy-striped pants he is boldly rocking.  Boldness and confidence radiate from this statement piece as you command the room and demand to be noticed.

Monday, December 22, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 6

     Day 6 shifts this years collection from daytime to oh holy night in this stunning woodland tunic.  Paired with a pair of sassy red pants, the colour blocking gives a hint of attitude to the elegance and sophistication of this piece.  Upon a midnight clear pallet, this tannenbaum sweater is a nod to the black forest of my Germanic roots.  It could be argued that the intermittent and sparse nature of trees is a subtle environmental  commentary on 21st century industrialization.  Nevertheless, passers by will "pine" for this woolen wonder as you paint the town red in style.


Sunday, December 21, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 5

     Day 5 brings with it a certain je ne sais quoi that only Santa on knit fleece can bring.  Perhaps it's his feather quill and ink that Santa writes his list with as he laughs in the face of modern technology.  Or perhaps it's his tiny hands or subtle tribute to Elton John in his choice of optic wear that make this piece stand out.   Santa's list ain't the only thing that's going to get checked out twice this season in this leisure chic classic. Embellished with puff paint holly and mysterious red dots giving Santa's suit a "measled" effect, this is the perfect choice for your Sunday afternoon yoga class.


Saturday, December 20, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 4

     Day 4 heralds this dapper denim dazzler that says, "there's a new Christopher Robin in town!"  The Hundred Acre Wood won't know what hit it when you show up in this Jean ombré ensemble that would make even Jay Leno's protruding chin drop. The glitter infused denim shimmers like a menorah, putting the glitz and glam back into country western where it belongs. Saddle on up to the egg nog and wrangle yourself some head turns on the way as your guests are sure to exclaim, "goodness, gracious, cheese balls of fire!"  Don't get stuck being the Eeyore at this years holiday round up, and dress like you mean it. And as an added bonus you can say things like, "oh, would you look at that! I got a little Pooh on my shirt."  Sure to get big laughs from all the underage attendees, and let's face it...me. 


Friday, December 19, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 3

     Day 3 is a Christmas secrets revealed.  While many think this is a time of boreal slubber for the bears of Alaska and abroad, have they pulled the sweater wool over your eyes.  Trading in the land of Nod for fashion mod, these bears are right on trend.  Dawning satin sweaters and tiny hats, they come "bearing" gifts of Christmas joy.  Built on a pallet of Tuscan red, this button-down betsy infuses business sleek with pajama chic.  Black ribbing frames in the threads of holiday wonder in a piece that will cause anyone to take "paws".  Be noticed.  Wear this.  You won't regret it.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 2

     See my vest, see my vest, put it's magic to the test.  Hopefully, you'll make it through the Christmas party security with the two guns coming out of this bad boy.  This sweater rings true to the Alaskan spirit as it screams, "I have the right to bare arms and, by golly, I'm going to bear them."  Sleeves are so 2013.  Today's modern woman doesn't need sleeves, they just weigh your arms down.  But she does need this vest.  Adorned with beads, bows, and pearls, this sweater is a potpourri of high elegance meets quilters delight.  This classic Christmas patchwork will leave you anything but a square this holiday.  

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 1


     And it came to pass, that in these days a decree was issued to find the most festive garments in all the land, to warm our upper halves and our hearts.  Behold, I bring you good tidings of great yarn that shall be for all people. For today, in the state of Alaska...so begins the seventh annual 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters!

     Before we begin I must address a dirty little trend, that has spread faster than the fear of ebola, in calling these delicacies "ugly sweaters".  It is a travesty to malign these majestic creations of the finest craftsmanship in such a way.  And furthermore, these festive finds were worn in all seriousness by my mother throughout my childhood, and nobody calls my mama or what she wears "ugly".  These are creations to be celebrated.  And with that let's begin.

     Inaugurating this years collection is this little piece of patchwork perfection.  This button up cardi will have your friends exclaiming, "nutcracker sweet!", with that little bearded fellow standing guard upon your abdomen.  But what really makes this sweater sparkle is the sequined poinsettias that would make even Tina Turners head turn.  Simply the best.  Rounding out this textural smorgasbord is the shaggy christmas tree complete with hand-sewn bead ornaments, reminiscent of your old Sunday School carpet after craft time.  Don't expect eye contact in this dandy piece of eye candy.



Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 8

Well, here we are on Christmas day with our final sweater of 2013.  Day 8 really is the tannen-bomb diggity.  It will make you want to bow before it's plaid, ribbon boughs.  But what makes this cardigan exquisite are the beads and pearls that are scattered throughout, which really makes this piece pop.  Perfect evening elegance.  The stitching of zig-zag gives these threads some zig-swag and the tree cuffs pack that extra punch, just don't drag them through the punch.  Layered upon a teddy bear turtleneck, this fashion forward piece is not for the faint of heart.  Get the defibrillator ready when you walk in the door in this one. 

And just when you think it can't get any better...sweater got back.  Sassy snowmen in top hats making a cheerleader pyramid with Christmas trees!  Ready?  Ok! 


Thanks for sharing in the glory of the Christmas sweater this season.  Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and may the sweaters never overshadow the true Light of Christmas and the hope we have in Christ.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 7

It's day 7.  T'was the night before Christmas and what could be better, than Santa and reindeer on the front of my sweater.  High fashion and neck warmth can be kind of tricky, but not when your blessed with a red, sewn in, dicky.  That's right, the turtleneck is just a clever illusion, one of the greatest fashion inventions of our time.  Impress all your friends this Christmas eve as you sully on up to the cheese ball.  They'll remark, "You look great, but aren't you sweating in two layers?"  You'll laugh as you've outsmarted them, lean in with one eyebrow raised, and reply, "it's a dicky."




Monday, December 23, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 6

Day 6 brings with it a glorious get-up that almost brings me to a loss for words.  Almost.  But I'll muster something up, starting with a turtleneck fit for the dog days of Christmas.  Is there anything more iconic to the season than the terrier?  How about 101 Christmas canines on a high necked shirt, capped off with sleeves that are too long to be 3/4 sleeves and short to be regular sleeves.  The perfect base layer for what comes next.  A vest that portals us into the North Pole's genetic laboratory where secrets are revealed: Santa is cloned.  These bizarre floating cocoons bear what seems to be the primal forms of Ol' Saint Nick, complete with belt, beard, hat, and beady little eyes.  You can already smell the beef and cheese on these Santa Frauds.  That or they're just festive strawberries.  But my gut tells me it's the former.  I feel uncomfortable.



And just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder.  This guy.  I wonder if Sandra Bullock and George Clooney bumped into this guy as they all floated through space.  (I imagine him giggling like the Pillsbury Dough Boy...not George Clooney, the creepy little Santa cocoon).




Sunday, December 22, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 5

It's day 5 and what's better for a lazy Sunday afternoon than this cozy, poly-cotton blend.  After a morning at church is your best Christmas Taffeta, nothing feels more comfortable than sparkly jersey fleece.  Shovel the driveway in this fabulous yet functional sweatshirt and have your neighbours exclaiming, "oh holy night!"  And the elegance of the golden reindeer sleigh above a forest of shimmering winter trees will instantly bring you the street cred you deserve when you wear this to your next holiday b-boy battle.




The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters: Seoul Sister Bonus Sweater

This year we have a special international bonus sweater to add to the collection!  I give to you my Seoul Sister, Dana.  I miss her dearly.

Annyeong haseyo!  Greetings sweater lovers from Korea. I'm usually behind-the-scenes on the "8 Days of Sweaters" but I'm stepping out of the shadows (boy, was it cold there!) and in to the limelight to showcase a Christmas sweater, Gangnam style.  There is a lack of thrift stores in Seoul (as Koreans prefer to buy new clothes) so I had to pay full retail for this gem.  It's worth it!  Santa's fluffy white beard applique is the star of the show as it pops against a midnight sky background, while his traditional rosy red cheeks are highlighted with machine embroidery.  In fashion-obsessed Seoul, Santa knows what's hot on the runway as he sports a cap in of-the-moment plaid.  And, although written in English, Santa's jolly laugh brings joy to children of any language.  This sweater is 5 year old Korean child approved.  I wish I could be ho ho home for the holidays but being a part of this magical annual tradition will have to do.  Merry Christmas to all!

Friday, December 20, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 4

Giddy on up in this day 4 yee-hawliday dandy and dazzle all your friends at the ol' saloon.  Holster a couple candy canes to your belt and be ready to draw as cowgirls and boys alike will be chomping at the bit for this shirt.  It's sure to stop onlookers in their tracks as Santa rides the rails west in a tiny toy train from hip to pit.  With an embroidered collar of black velvet in that slow southern style, buttons as jet-black as the head of Elvis, and traditional wrinkle-bound fabric stitched with glorious snowflakes and Santa on cross midsection journey; this lean, mean, jean, machine will have onlookers falling into a burning ring of festive.  It's a sure thing.  Dare to be a diva in denim this Christmas, in a jean-on-jean fashion that will make Jay Leno proud. 


Thursday, December 19, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 3

Day 3 is a real nordic delight, boasting a waistline of enthusiastic cross-country skiers who seem to be playing a rousing game of "chicken" as they storm for the zipper.  If you put your ear real close you can almost hear them shriek, "I love skiing, I love skiing, and I don't care who knows it!"  And how couldn't you when you are skiing on a sweater, under a sky of pure angora snowflakes, straight from the rabbits back.  With it's polo collar this gem is perfect for that Country Club Christmas Soiree.

But wait!  What's that? It's a straggler that can't seem to keep up with his hip-hop-pity friends who have clearly left him to "take up the rear."  Poor fella.  It seems he might be following my skiing technique of: tense up, close eyes, scream "I can't stop! I can't stop!", crash into friends heels.  I'm sure by next year he'll be bunny hopping with the rest up them.


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 2

Day 2 bestows upon us an upper-class, elitist garment fit for the looker of the lodge.  This piece says, "I live a life of winter luxury and I'm not afraid to flaunt it on my sweater" and "yeah, I pay for the internet at my hotel."  Boasting an impressive display of activities such as skiing, skating, snowshoeing and a fancy drink in an Adirondack chair; this is the archaic and more fashionable version of posting Facebook photos that make the rest of us feel lazy, out of shape, and poor.  Pop the ribbed collar of this zip-up cardi as you saunter on over to the eggnog bar to put out the vibe.  The red accent piping and rolled cuffs add that special touch, while the falling embroidered snowflakes really take this sweater into high fashion.  And lets not forget the pop out fringes of the scarves that dance in the breeze as you walk by.  It just feels...expensive.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 1

Well, ding dong merrily on high, the sweater bells are ringing!  And they are ringing in tones of festive knit splendor that will bring one to their knees.  I give you the sixth annual "8 Days of Christmas Sweaters," an event that has come to light the sunless northern days of my current existence.  But who needs sun when you've got a Christmas sweater, really.  Without further ado, here is the 2013 collection.  Let's begin...

The pioneer of the 2013 collection is this rustic little classic.  Doesn't it make you just want curl up in front of my torso with a hot cup of cocoa? The blanket stitching and puffed felt patches make it a real textural delight.  While two lonely snowflakes rest upon the lapel, Santa seems to have had to makes some cutbacks in the reindeer department.  Those things don't feed themselves.  Perhaps he will consider a hybrid team for next year.  Nevertheless, this biz-cas snowy scape upon a midnight blue sky sets sail to this years collection.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Vote!

It's time to exercise your sweater democratic rights and choose which one will be this year's champion!  Vote using the poll shown above. Polls close New Years Day.

Monday, December 24, 2012

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2012: Day 8

Twas the night before Christmas and what could be better, than Santa and reindeer crossing your sweater.  On Dasher, on Danzer, on Prancer, on Vix....wait a second.  Looks like there have been cutbacks in the ol' transportation budget.  And not to mention it looks like Rudolph has been cloned and put on performance enhancing drugs to pull a sleigh with just three.  This winters-night marvel is an enchanting blend of wool, satin, tinsel, and bead-work.  Threads of silver and gold fly this sweater to the moon in a whirl of snowy elegance.  This is a sweater that says, "I'll be needing a bib because I CANNOT afford to get cranberry sauce on these threads."  

And so concludes the fifth annual collection of these fine festive sweaters.  I hope their magic has brought you as much joy as it has for me.  Thanks to everyone who has stopped by to take these posts in.

And now the sweaters are hung in the closet with care, as another year's past of high fashion wear.
Now is the time to say which is best, vote for your favourite, whether sweater or vest.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!

(Voting will commence Christmas day for one week to crown this years champion.  Be sure to stop by and let your voice be heard.)



Sunday, December 23, 2012

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2012: Day 7

Oh holy night, the stars and stripes are shining.  You'll be in the 2% best dressed in the country in this star spangled stunner.  Day seven brings a little shock and awe to the Christmas season.  This sweater says, "who cares if it's Christmas, I live in the USA!"  This flagship sweater will have you flying at full mast this season with broader stripes than shoulders.  Armed with the twinkle of these hand beaded winter stars, this sweater is loud and proud with a hint of Christmas...but not to be outdone by.  I like to call this scene: Immigrants First Christmas.  Thanks to this sweater and it's land I have been given a new life, a fresh start.  It's only a pity that this country is not a tart-fearing nation like the one I hail from.  Because more than a fresh start, I'd like a fresh butter tart.  And don't be surprised if bald eagles are seen circling overhead, just keep a firm grip on your green bean casserole.  This high flying button up cardi will have people saying, "Oh say, can I see that sweater?!"