Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 8

Well, here we are on Christmas day with our final sweater of 2013.  Day 8 really is the tannen-bomb diggity.  It will make you want to bow before it's plaid, ribbon boughs.  But what makes this cardigan exquisite are the beads and pearls that are scattered throughout, which really makes this piece pop.  Perfect evening elegance.  The stitching of zig-zag gives these threads some zig-swag and the tree cuffs pack that extra punch, just don't drag them through the punch.  Layered upon a teddy bear turtleneck, this fashion forward piece is not for the faint of heart.  Get the defibrillator ready when you walk in the door in this one. 

And just when you think it can't get any better...sweater got back.  Sassy snowmen in top hats making a cheerleader pyramid with Christmas trees!  Ready?  Ok! 

Thanks for sharing in the glory of the Christmas sweater this season.  Wishing you all a very merry Christmas and may the sweaters never overshadow the true Light of Christmas and the hope we have in Christ.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 7

It's day 7.  T'was the night before Christmas and what could be better, than Santa and reindeer on the front of my sweater.  High fashion and neck warmth can be kind of tricky, but not when your blessed with a red, sewn in, dicky.  That's right, the turtleneck is just a clever illusion, one of the greatest fashion inventions of our time.  Impress all your friends this Christmas eve as you sully on up to the cheese ball.  They'll remark, "You look great, but aren't you sweating in two layers?"  You'll laugh as you've outsmarted them, lean in with one eyebrow raised, and reply, "it's a dicky."

Monday, December 23, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 6

Day 6 brings with it a glorious get-up that almost brings me to a loss for words.  Almost.  But I'll muster something up, starting with a turtleneck fit for the dog days of Christmas.  Is there anything more iconic to the season than the terrier?  How about 101 Christmas canines on a high necked shirt, capped off with sleeves that are too long to be 3/4 sleeves and short to be regular sleeves.  The perfect base layer for what comes next.  A vest that portals us into the North Pole's genetic laboratory where secrets are revealed: Santa is cloned.  These bizarre floating cocoons bear what seems to be the primal forms of Ol' Saint Nick, complete with belt, beard, hat, and beady little eyes.  You can already smell the beef and cheese on these Santa Frauds.  That or they're just festive strawberries.  But my gut tells me it's the former.  I feel uncomfortable.

And just when you thought it couldn't get any weirder.  This guy.  I wonder if Sandra Bullock and George Clooney bumped into this guy as they all floated through space.  (I imagine him giggling like the Pillsbury Dough Boy...not George Clooney, the creepy little Santa cocoon).

Sunday, December 22, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 5

It's day 5 and what's better for a lazy Sunday afternoon than this cozy, poly-cotton blend.  After a morning at church is your best Christmas Taffeta, nothing feels more comfortable than sparkly jersey fleece.  Shovel the driveway in this fabulous yet functional sweatshirt and have your neighbours exclaiming, "oh holy night!"  And the elegance of the golden reindeer sleigh above a forest of shimmering winter trees will instantly bring you the street cred you deserve when you wear this to your next holiday b-boy battle.

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters: Seoul Sister Bonus Sweater

This year we have a special international bonus sweater to add to the collection!  I give to you my Seoul Sister, Dana.  I miss her dearly.

Annyeong haseyo!  Greetings sweater lovers from Korea. I'm usually behind-the-scenes on the "8 Days of Sweaters" but I'm stepping out of the shadows (boy, was it cold there!) and in to the limelight to showcase a Christmas sweater, Gangnam style.  There is a lack of thrift stores in Seoul (as Koreans prefer to buy new clothes) so I had to pay full retail for this gem.  It's worth it!  Santa's fluffy white beard applique is the star of the show as it pops against a midnight sky background, while his traditional rosy red cheeks are highlighted with machine embroidery.  In fashion-obsessed Seoul, Santa knows what's hot on the runway as he sports a cap in of-the-moment plaid.  And, although written in English, Santa's jolly laugh brings joy to children of any language.  This sweater is 5 year old Korean child approved.  I wish I could be ho ho home for the holidays but being a part of this magical annual tradition will have to do.  Merry Christmas to all!

Friday, December 20, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 4

Giddy on up in this day 4 yee-hawliday dandy and dazzle all your friends at the ol' saloon.  Holster a couple candy canes to your belt and be ready to draw as cowgirls and boys alike will be chomping at the bit for this shirt.  It's sure to stop onlookers in their tracks as Santa rides the rails west in a tiny toy train from hip to pit.  With an embroidered collar of black velvet in that slow southern style, buttons as jet-black as the head of Elvis, and traditional wrinkle-bound fabric stitched with glorious snowflakes and Santa on cross midsection journey; this lean, mean, jean, machine will have onlookers falling into a burning ring of festive.  It's a sure thing.  Dare to be a diva in denim this Christmas, in a jean-on-jean fashion that will make Jay Leno proud. 

Thursday, December 19, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 3

Day 3 is a real nordic delight, boasting a waistline of enthusiastic cross-country skiers who seem to be playing a rousing game of "chicken" as they storm for the zipper.  If you put your ear real close you can almost hear them shriek, "I love skiing, I love skiing, and I don't care who knows it!"  And how couldn't you when you are skiing on a sweater, under a sky of pure angora snowflakes, straight from the rabbits back.  With it's polo collar this gem is perfect for that Country Club Christmas Soiree.

But wait!  What's that? It's a straggler that can't seem to keep up with his hip-hop-pity friends who have clearly left him to "take up the rear."  Poor fella.  It seems he might be following my skiing technique of: tense up, close eyes, scream "I can't stop! I can't stop!", crash into friends heels.  I'm sure by next year he'll be bunny hopping with the rest up them.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 2

Day 2 bestows upon us an upper-class, elitist garment fit for the looker of the lodge.  This piece says, "I live a life of winter luxury and I'm not afraid to flaunt it on my sweater" and "yeah, I pay for the internet at my hotel."  Boasting an impressive display of activities such as skiing, skating, snowshoeing and a fancy drink in an Adirondack chair; this is the archaic and more fashionable version of posting Facebook photos that make the rest of us feel lazy, out of shape, and poor.  Pop the ribbed collar of this zip-up cardi as you saunter on over to the eggnog bar to put out the vibe.  The red accent piping and rolled cuffs add that special touch, while the falling embroidered snowflakes really take this sweater into high fashion.  And lets not forget the pop out fringes of the scarves that dance in the breeze as you walk by.  It just feels...expensive.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2013: Day 1

Well, ding dong merrily on high, the sweater bells are ringing!  And they are ringing in tones of festive knit splendor that will bring one to their knees.  I give you the sixth annual "8 Days of Christmas Sweaters," an event that has come to light the sunless northern days of my current existence.  But who needs sun when you've got a Christmas sweater, really.  Without further ado, here is the 2013 collection.  Let's begin...

The pioneer of the 2013 collection is this rustic little classic.  Doesn't it make you just want curl up in front of my torso with a hot cup of cocoa? The blanket stitching and puffed felt patches make it a real textural delight.  While two lonely snowflakes rest upon the lapel, Santa seems to have had to makes some cutbacks in the reindeer department.  Those things don't feed themselves.  Perhaps he will consider a hybrid team for next year.  Nevertheless, this biz-cas snowy scape upon a midnight blue sky sets sail to this years collection.