Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 8

     And so Christmas eve has found us once again on Day 8 of the seventh annual 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters.  A bittersweet time as we bid farewell to another year of Christmas craftsmanship and all the magic that is embodied it's festive threads.

     This ultimate sweater brings this years collection to an iconic close with a winter staple.  The snowman, formerly known as Frosty, raises his hands in desperation to the sky and you can almost here him cry, "if someone calls me Olaf one more time...!!!" Oh, Olaf, stop being so dramatic.  Made of the finest rabbit hair, this mock neck beauty is as soft as a thousand kittens.  Yarn balls fall from the sky, blanketing your waistline, helping cover the fresh layer of cheese ball, egg nog, and sugar cookies that are also now adorning your waistline.  Who knew such a cold scene could look so hot.

     And with that we draw to a close.  I must make an addendum to my Day 1 post where I reference my mother who used to wear these types of holiday gems.  I neglected to mention that she is now very fashion forward, always on trend.  In fact, the sweater she is in right now has leather elbow patches, soooo....

Tomorrow voting begins to crown this years winning sweater.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 7

     Day 7 is enough to make anyones heart go "parumpapumpum" in a look that says, "I just ate the poinsettia!"  This visual delight is a Christmas feast for the eyes.  Layered upon the perfect poly-cotton blend turtleneck adds ladylike modesty to counteract this racy all-over print vest, which doesn't even need buttons to keep it closed, in order to keep you from looking like what the text border implies.  A nice diversion from the tired cliche Santa outfit, is the candy-striped pants he is boldly rocking.  Boldness and confidence radiate from this statement piece as you command the room and demand to be noticed.

Monday, December 22, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 6

     Day 6 shifts this years collection from daytime to oh holy night in this stunning woodland tunic.  Paired with a pair of sassy red pants, the colour blocking gives a hint of attitude to the elegance and sophistication of this piece.  Upon a midnight clear pallet, this tannenbaum sweater is a nod to the black forest of my Germanic roots.  It could be argued that the intermittent and sparse nature of trees is a subtle environmental  commentary on 21st century industrialization.  Nevertheless, passers by will "pine" for this woolen wonder as you paint the town red in style.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 5

     Day 5 brings with it a certain je ne sais quoi that only Santa on knit fleece can bring.  Perhaps it's his feather quill and ink that Santa writes his list with as he laughs in the face of modern technology.  Or perhaps it's his tiny hands or subtle tribute to Elton John in his choice of optic wear that make this piece stand out.   Santa's list ain't the only thing that's going to get checked out twice this season in this leisure chic classic. Embellished with puff paint holly and mysterious red dots giving Santa's suit a "measled" effect, this is the perfect choice for your Sunday afternoon yoga class.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 4

     Day 4 heralds this dapper denim dazzler that says, "there's a new Christopher Robin in town!"  The Hundred Acre Wood won't know what hit it when you show up in this Jean ombré ensemble that would make even Jay Leno's protruding chin drop. The glitter infused denim shimmers like a menorah, putting the glitz and glam back into country western where it belongs. Saddle on up to the egg nog and wrangle yourself some head turns on the way as your guests are sure to exclaim, "goodness, gracious, cheese balls of fire!"  Don't get stuck being the Eeyore at this years holiday round up, and dress like you mean it. And as an added bonus you can say things like, "oh, would you look at that! I got a little Pooh on my shirt."  Sure to get big laughs from all the underage attendees, and let's face 

Friday, December 19, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 3

     Day 3 is a Christmas secrets revealed.  While many think this is a time of boreal slubber for the bears of Alaska and abroad, have they pulled the sweater wool over your eyes.  Trading in the land of Nod for fashion mod, these bears are right on trend.  Dawning satin sweaters and tiny hats, they come "bearing" gifts of Christmas joy.  Built on a pallet of Tuscan red, this button-down betsy infuses business sleek with pajama chic.  Black ribbing frames in the threads of holiday wonder in a piece that will cause anyone to take "paws".  Be noticed.  Wear this.  You won't regret it.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 2

     See my vest, see my vest, put it's magic to the test.  Hopefully, you'll make it through the Christmas party security with the two guns coming out of this bad boy.  This sweater rings true to the Alaskan spirit as it screams, "I have the right to bare arms and, by golly, I'm going to bear them."  Sleeves are so 2013.  Today's modern woman doesn't need sleeves, they just weigh your arms down.  But she does need this vest.  Adorned with beads, bows, and pearls, this sweater is a potpourri of high elegance meets quilters delight.  This classic Christmas patchwork will leave you anything but a square this holiday.  

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters 2014: Day 1

     And it came to pass, that in these days a decree was issued to find the most festive garments in all the land, to warm our upper halves and our hearts.  Behold, I bring you good tidings of great yarn that shall be for all people. For today, in the state of begins the seventh annual 8 Days of Christmas Sweaters!

     Before we begin I must address a dirty little trend, that has spread faster than the fear of ebola, in calling these delicacies "ugly sweaters".  It is a travesty to malign these majestic creations of the finest craftsmanship in such a way.  And furthermore, these festive finds were worn in all seriousness by my mother throughout my childhood, and nobody calls my mama or what she wears "ugly".  These are creations to be celebrated.  And with that let's begin.

     Inaugurating this years collection is this little piece of patchwork perfection.  This button up cardi will have your friends exclaiming, "nutcracker sweet!", with that little bearded fellow standing guard upon your abdomen.  But what really makes this sweater sparkle is the sequined poinsettias that would make even Tina Turners head turn.  Simply the best.  Rounding out this textural smorgasbord is the shaggy christmas tree complete with hand-sewn bead ornaments, reminiscent of your old Sunday School carpet after craft time.  Don't expect eye contact in this dandy piece of eye candy.