"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." ~Isaiah 55:8-9
I feel that I have spent about 98% of my life not really understanding what is happening or why it does and then there is that 2% of the time where everything just seems to make perfect sense and I understand what I couldn't in that 98% of the time. Well, right now I'm in that 98% of the time. My deputation to Zambia has been delayed until January due to the fact that the financial support didn't come in for me to leave in September. As I look to the parallels of the spiritual realm to the physical in order to some how grasp the ungraspable I think on how a small child seems consumed with the question "why?" I too in my spiritual walk sometimes find myself in this child-like state wanting to know the reason why to everything. But as we grow we find that we no longer need to nag our parents with the endless string of "why's" but rather learn to trust them and know they wouldn't lead us astray. And this is where I find myself today. I don't understand why I have to wait when in my thoughts leaving in September sounded so perfect. It's so hard to think upon Zambia and the faces there and know there is so much need, a country that is, in a sense, on fire, but I am here...waiting. But right now I find a peculiar rest in the unexplainable. I feel no need to know the reasons why right now, all I know is this is where God has lead me. As I wrestle with the disappointment I find comfort in the above verses and I feel Him telling me again and again, "my thoughts are not your thoughts." He has a plan and I will follow.
I am also gaining a better understanding that this is something so much bigger than just one person. The immeasurable value of support is becoming very clear and I don't mean just financially. God has a much broader calling for this task than just me. I am carried by the "unsung hero's" who support me through prayer and word. People in which those of Zambia may never see but will have a profound impact on the ministry that takes place there. People who God is using to help carry me through this time and the times to come. People who without this would be nearly impossible and the thought of this truly humbles me.
I am also gaining a better understanding that this is something so much bigger than just one person. The immeasurable value of support is becoming very clear and I don't mean just financially. God has a much broader calling for this task than just me. I am carried by the "unsung hero's" who support me through prayer and word. People in which those of Zambia may never see but will have a profound impact on the ministry that takes place there. People who God is using to help carry me through this time and the times to come. People who without this would be nearly impossible and the thought of this truly humbles me.
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